Just got off of a several day business trip. I was on a local train going home. It is a light rail, so you can't go from car to car. It was crowded and I had to stand in the center area. I noticed a guy standing with his back to me. He had on a cheap, polyester sport coat and had hair going in all directions. He just looked frumpy. I'm not one to judge - but he was muttering. That's what drew my attention.
He turned around and saw me. He did a double take. Uh, oh. Yep, he sauntered across the car to me. "Hi, how ya doin" he says. Fine, thanks. I am polite but avoid eye contact. No luck. "So, you're doin ok. that's good. yeah. so, train is crowded. yeah. hmmm. would you like to go for a drink?"
I kid you not, the guy props me straight up. I'm polite, "no thanks." He mutters some kind of oh, ok, response and goes back to where he was. Whew!
Uh, oh. He's back. I got a jump seat and he stands next to me. "You're very pretty. very pretty." Uh, thank you. What I am I supposed to say? I can't get away - no where to go. He goes back and forth for awhile. Continues chit chat - I don't know what I'm going to do tonight - maybe shoping, maybe a movie. You like movies? He asks my name, I reply. Should have made something up. I am not good at deception. He comes back again and I'm reading on my iphone. He says, "is that a book? Oh wow." Then proceeds to pull out some phone and starts showing me the features, and he can get internet, blah, blah. Hello. I'm trying to read here. I keep reading, he keeps talking. And he is pushy, directly asking for a response to his querries.
OMG - what to do. So I decide to be pleasant, but not engaging. The guy could be a psycho for all I know. Plus, he is trying. Most guys won't, so I don't want to completely ignore him. He keeps trying. "So, what you don't date? I guess you like to be alone? Would you like to go out?" So I just firmly, but politely say - Actually, I'm involved with someone.
He is crest fallen, but continues. "Oh, yeah, sure. Ok. Well, I know how that is. If I'm dating someone, I don't talk to other women. Yeah, I don't want her talking to other guys either. Yeah, I get it. Well, I have tried some internet dating..." He proceeds to tell me about his internet escapades and how he is not sure about it. Help!
Finally - his stop is arriving. "well, I guess I'll see you. Nice to meet you." he holds out his hand for a handshake. 'Nice to meet you too, Vinnie. Have a great weekend" I say. Oh, I forgot to mention - his name is Vinnie. It is so trite I can't believe it. He grasps my hand, then cups it with his other hand is pumping my hand and it's like he can't let go. He finally does. One more comment..."well maybe someday you'll be single again, you never know and you might want a baby." Huh?
After the door closes I see 3 people sitting across from me and they all just bust out laughing. I sheepishly laugh too and said - there was no escape! They begin to recap his strange approach and conversation. Yeah, it was wierd.
As I sat on the train I'm thinking. You get what you attract. Is this the type of person I am attracting? I need to step up my style, my look, something. I did admire his willingness to put himeself out there. But when someone says no thanks and is not returning your interest, back off! He didn't take the hint, the direct refusal, or the ignoring him while reading. It is a little depressing to think that this is the longest convo I have had with a potential date in a while and the first ask in a while too. I am not good at this, but hope my prospects improve! I should mention, he was at least 10 years younger than me. So at least I got that going for me LOL.
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