Glutton for Punishment

I swore I would not do this again. I thought I had learned my lesson. I guess I didn't. I'm doing it again.

Yep, I'm hooked on The Bachelor-ette :o

I know I said after The Bachelor and the horrible ending and all that, I would not be manipulated by this TV show again. But Jillian is so cute and open and we want her to win! And she picked some great guys, but OMG, this IS the most manipulative TV show in the world. But I can't look away. I watch the episodes on the internet, so Tuesday night is my TV night. I get so swept up in this ridiculousness. Why?

Maybe we all secretly desire the fairy tale - romance, a connection, picking or getting picked to be "the one." Maybe we all secretly wish we could just find the guy allready - and if it has to be done in 13 weeks in a contrived situation globetrotting in front of a camera with 500 men we didn't pick ourselves - well, whatever - just so I get a guy who is hunky, loyal, romantic, dreamy, and a good kisser, right?

So how is it that Jillian can fall for 4 or 5 guys at once and can't choose? Women are not built lilke that. We expect guys to be that way, but gals fall hard for one guy at a time. But is that really the case? I know this show plays to all our stereotypes - Wes the musician bad boy, Reid the straight laced and cautious businessman, Mike the goofy youngest guy, etc. etc. etc. And poor Jillie, having to decide who is being straight with her, who is genuine, who loves her, and oh yeah, who does she love? This show is the modern version of The Dating Game. How far we've come in just 40 years. On that show you picked someone for a single date - not a romp, not an engagement, not a move-in, just a date. And the date was chaparoned. No funny stuff, no impropriety - even though this was the '60s and everyone was about free love and sleeping with everyone. Not on The Dating Game! LOL

So, now we accept the propriety and expect the impossible - that 2 people will fall in love on a dating marathon where potentials are winnowed like so much bad fruit each week. Well, guess he is past his expiration date - next! And if you are not sure, well, squeeze the fruit and maybe even take a taste - except everyone IS looking. Jillian has yet to go on the secret suite date where the potential mate spends the night - but it is bound to happen sometime. After all, she did sleep with Jason last season. Does that mean she is damaged goods? No, not our fair Jillian, Canada's sweetheart <3.

Will I keep watching? You bet'cha! I have to see how it ends. It's the ultimate chick flick and I am a sucker for romance. Hey - did you really think that Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan fell in love in all the movies they've been in together? No, but it sure is fun to pretend. So next Tuesday I will continue with my entertainment and realize though it claims to be reality TV, it is just pretend. I think I'm rooting for Reid...

50 is the new 50?

I just got More magazine delivered (a dear friend got me a subscription - print! how quaint!). On the cover is Holly Hunter, one of my favorite actresses, with the screaming headline "51." What? I had no idea she and I are so close in age. Of course on the cover, she looks fabulous! Doesn't look 50 at all. She looks something much less than 50! Of course, in my mind's eye, so do I. But when I see her on this cover and bring up my mental image of myself, I realize that apparently, I am the new 50. So instead of thinking of myself as something less than the dreaded 50, because I certainly don't look 50 and don't act anything like 50...maybe I need to redefine what 50 is.

Blooming in Midlife (I link to it in my blogroll) is one of my favorite writers and she wrote a very similar post a while back. I just didn't get it then. Now I have my own context, and I get it very clearly. I don't need to be 30, I just need to have the world redefine 50, starting with me!

I went to a bar on Saturday night for a quick pop-in. I was with a 30-something girlfriend who was visiting from out of town. I wasn't dressed, my hair looked like crap, and we just wanted a beer to refresh ourselves. She also was not dressed up, her hair looked like crap, and - you've probably guessed the rest. Bees to the honey as they say - every young guy in a 10 foot radius tried to start up a conversation with her. Not so with me. But, I've been to this bar before and had guys strike up conversations - older guys. So I know I am capable of attracting would be conversationalists! But the bar was filled with younger guys this night. And it became quite apparent to me that my 50 is not the new 30, but is 50. But the difference between my idea of 50 and the conventional idea of 50 is that I did not look out of place in this bar and I was very comfortable being there. I don't think anyone thought I was too old to be there or too old to be hanging out on a Saturday night. But they didn't mistake me for my 30ish friend either.

So ladies - 50 and over (and those who see it coming up fast on your horizon) - be 50 as YOU define it. Don't compromise, don't settle, live life as you wish, and have fun. We are fabulous. We just aren't 30.

"Self Portrait, Rear View" Sharon Olds (Def Poetry)

A treat! Listen to this sister.

Vacation

Went on vacation for 10 days. Feel great! Weekend getaways are nice, but to really decompress, forget about work, and lose yourself, you need more time. I know the vacation was a succes because I forgot my work computer login when I rebooted my laptop today! Ahhhhhhh.

So a successful vacation should have at least one, if not all of these activities
1. shoe shopping - cute new mary-janes in leather, perfect for summer fun
2. pedicure - toes have to look good in the new shoes (that have cut-outs through which to view said toes)
3. catching up with girlfriends - and new stories to tell!
4. hotel indulgence - I love hotel towels, plush bedding, and valet parking.
5. hot sex - sadly, this makes my list but not my reality. foo-ey

So, one of my girlfriends was relaying her most recent Matchbook or Matchface or whatever the online dating service is, and she had an interesting connection. I was so proud of her for standing up to mr. quasi-ethics who tried to play fast and loose with the truth. So here's her story...
She is fervently anti-smoking. She notes on her profile that it is a deal breaker. So she meets up with this guy who she has spent a lot of time on the phone with and he seems great! All is going well on the date, until he says something about smoking. Uh, what? Hmm. Seems he "indulges" in a smoke on rare occasions. Now I've been known to sneak a cig when I've been drinking a wee bit too much, so slip ups do occur. But unfortunately, our Romeo-to-be indulges a bit more frequently. Apparently, for him, he likes to smoke when playing pool. Ok. Guys will be guys. It's almost a bit of a macho cliche - Brando-esque! In some dive pool hall, looking tough, smokin' a cig. Well, the smoke thickens. She goes to his place (innocently, don't get ahead of yourselves). Lo and behold - he has a pool table in his basement and the room smells of (drum roll, please) smoke. Uh, want to explain yourself buddy? What a guy!! So he lied that he was a non-smoker on his profile, then lies that he smokes more than occassionally, and does it in his house. Well, sometimes people panic, right? So let's hear the explanation - oh and this is a good one. He actually said this..."I didn't want to say anything in case it didn't work out between us. But since it is working out, I figured I could quit. I'll do it for you." AAAHHHHHAAAHHHHHAAA (sound of my friend running from the house LOL).

Why do people feel the need to tell fibs, tell lies, and then compound it with another tall tale????
If they guy had been upfront - he might have had a chance. But to suggest he was waiting to see how things went? Tell her what she's won - a date who will quit smoking for you! Thanks, but no thanks. My friend did not need a nicotene fitted lunatic who would blame her for his weight gain as he gives up his occassional smokes and his smelly pool table.

The dating pool is a dangerous place - sharks, poisonous blowfish, camafloughed jellyfish, and other bottom feeders. Aren't there any tropical lagoons like in the magazines?? Just sayin.